My tears are all I have left of you...
And not even that can bring me comfort...
Honest TruthEveryday these words aren't spoken.
Everyday these feelings aren't known.
Everyday I'm not in your arms.
That day is gone.
We can never get it back.
And we don't have time to waste.
For every moment I'm not with you,
I die a little more inside.
I need you to at least know.
Know my feelings for you.
How strong they are.
How I can no longer control them.
It kills me knowing you're not mine.
That you may never be.
But that you could be.
No longer can I sit by wondering.
The day has come for me to reach out.
Reach out to you.
I can only hope it doesn't ruin us.
That you'll take my hand.
Show me the way.
Because I love you.
That's the real, honest truth.
If I can bare to tell you...
Go AheadGo ahead.
Pretend like you know me.
Say whatever you like.
Spit on me when you leave.
Doesn't bother me one bit.
You get so frustrated because your words don't hurt.
They don't get any response from me.
You wanna know why?
Well I'll tell you bitch.
You don't know me.
So I could care less what you think of me.
Or what you say to me for that matter.
I know for fact your a terrble person.
If your doing this to me,
I'd hate to see what you do to people you actually know.
And you wanna know why I'm not fighting bad?
Because I don't have to.
I don't need to bring other people down to feel better.
I can just be me.
People like me for that.
Well sorry to break it to you sweetheart,
But your so called 'friends' would sell you out.
You have no real friends.
And you never will.
Trust me, no one wants to be friends with people like you.
Call me a dumbass.
Whatever makes you feel better.
Go ahead and laugh with your friends.
They wont be around much longer anyways.
At the en
SongFists pound the wall.
Screams echo in emptiness.
Just like I always wanted to be.
But it's different...
I hate it here.
I thought the memories would leave.
Like everything else.
I lost my heart.
Lost my mind.
Yet the memories still remain...
I dance around.
This house empty and bare.
But it my head it's alive,
Warm and cozy.
Trying to dance along.
Your like a bad song.
One that I can't get out of my head...
Feet stop dancing.
I start running.
Running away from here.
Away from this song.
But I can't escape one thing,
I can't escape you...
I'll just keep running.
Hoping one day this will stop.
All of it.
That one day you'll come back.
But if not,
Promise me one thing...
Promise to make our song...
Everything go away
My BelovedAs my hand falls away from my beloved,
death wraps around my heart stealing my last breath.
Darkness around me bring me to the calm,
what I've been searching for all these years.
The calm engulfs me in its deadly loneliness,
causing me to think of you.
Where you are.
If I will be with you soon.
Memories flash all around me but when warmth takes me in,
I forget all of it and focus on what this feeling is.
I look up to find that smile laying upon your face.
If my heart was still beating it would be flying out of my chest.
My lips try to mimic you smile but I could never get it just right.
Your hand falls upon my cheek,
so I close my eyes.
As our lips meet in passion,
the darkness disappears and once again we are where we should be.
Under our willow in each others arms.
Once Upon A TimeClose your eyes
Drift far away
Then sleep your little life away
You can't escape
But you always try
This world isn't going to disappear
Problems don't go away
Not unless you face them head on
Just keep on pretending it's all ok
Your sick of me
But I'm sick of your lies
What do we do now?
My eyes meet yours
Stone cold and hallow
What happened to you?
Once upon a time you were mine
That was only a fairytale
And we all know fairy tales don't exist
Now all I have left of you...
The only thing that proves this was real...
Is this metal around my neck
He who holds the key...
Can unlock my heart
So why didn't you?
Why Did That Night Have To EndMemories cling to my fragile figure.
Dropping to the ground,
Splattering around me like rain.
All that's left is your silhouette.
A mere figment of my imagination.
But if I close my eyes and pretend hard enough,
It feels like you're here again.
That you're mine again.
Your body pressed against mine.
Hands lingering on my skin,
Gliding down to my hips.
Swaying back and fourth slowly to the beat of our hearts.
My head finding its way to your chest.
Feeling your chest rise then fall.
Listening to your heart beat steadily.
I open my eyes no longer to your face.
Only to the empty night sky.
The stars are only a reflection of your eyes,
Your bright, empty eyes.
My heart drops along with my tears.
Each falls with me away from the past.
The memories are far too bitter sweet.
Too fresh in my mind.
I can still smell your scent,
It fills the air surrounding me in a mist of you.
I can still see you smiling down on me,
That look on your face haunts me today.
I can still feel you holding me so close
Will You Try?Why don't you understand?
My feelings aren't known
But if they were...
Would there eve be a difference?
You're so clueless
Don't know a thing
Sure you make me smile
Make me forget for a little bit
But as soon as your gone...
Reality crashes down
I can't help but cry over you
Think about you all the time
It kills me
Knowing you're not mine
That you'll be gone soon
Will it go back to before?
No thank you
I don't think I could
A life without you isn't livable
It's not worth living
I need you
And I know that sounds clingy
You hate clingy...
But it's the truth
Please try to understand
Because I'm trying my hardest...
To make this work
To understand you
I know I'm not perfect
That I'm not always right
So you need to help me
Help me help you
I know you can do it
I know you care enough
Give a little effort
Even if it's only because of me
Never The SameSilence rests upon us
Your hands on the steering wheel
My heart as out guide
No maps to led us astray
Only you and me
That's all we have
All we'll ever need
Music seeps through the stereo
Our voices in perfect harmony
Yours low and bittersweet
Mine high yet soft
Smiles on our faces
I thought they'd never disappear
Not if the music kept going
Sitting on the couch
Arms wrapped around my waist
You whisper in my ear
Telling me whatever comes to mind
It never did matter what you were saying
As long as your lips were against my ears
As long as I could hear you voice
Darkness covers the sky
As well as my heart
My hands lay heavily upon the wheel
Afraid if I let go I'll lost myself
Just like I lost you
I get lost in the stars now
They remind me of you
So light yet so hard to follow
Cars going by is all I hear
Though if I listen close enough...
I can still hear you singing
It's still so low yet so faint
Sometimes I still whisper along
And even though I don't smile anymore
I still remember how y
StainedInk leaking on pure white
One letter after another
It spreads quickly
There's nothing you nor I can do
The only person who cant stop it is the artist
The prisoner of words
But they'll never stop
Just like I never will either
Tormented by too many things,
Our only release is through this ink
It's for survival
We're not concerned about what you think
Or if it even makes sense
All we want is the ink out of us
So we're no longer tortured by that thought
But there's always something more
Always something new to be tormented by
So the ink flows once again
Staining what was once so pure and white
But in this never ending cycle
The true thing becoming impure is the heart
With each stroke of ink adds a drop of darkness there
Soon all we'll have left is the darkness
But that won't stop the ink
Not even then
For once our heart becomes tainted by the dark
The ink is all we truely have left
Perfectly LostThis endless beating.
It's your fault.
All the thoughts rushing.
They're all of you.
Nothing else is important.
Not compared to you.
I'm not sure why I care so much.
But I care about you.
You know how to make it fade.
Make it all fade away.
All I need is you by my side.
Holding my hand.
Just don't stop...
Whatever you do.
You're making my life complete.
Like it once was.
I need your touch.
It comforts me.
I long for the sweet taste.
The taste of your lips.
What am I to do with you?
You and I.
You are here.
Yet never truly mine.
Not mine to hold.
All I can do is look.
Behold your beauty.
I long for you.
Everything about you.
The way you walk.
The way you talk.
All the stupid little things you do.
They make you perfect.
Perfect for me.
They're what makes me so lost.
Lost in everything you.
If OnlyEvery time I see you.
Whether it's mere seconds.
Or a few minutes.
I'm filled with joy.
Just as soon as joy comes,
It all crashes down.
My heart is filled with dread.
So deep and wonderful.
So full and joyful.
So handsome and amazing.
But I know none of that...
None of you will ever be mine.
I can never get lost.
Not in your eyes.
I can never laugh.
Not with you.
I can never smile.
Not along with yours.
For we are only friends.
Maybe it's better that way.
Still my heart screaming for you.
Day and night...
You are the only thing on my mind.
I have cried only for you.
Yet you no nothing of my feelings.
For those words never escape my lips.
Never when I'm in your presence.
I only wish I could tell you.
Tell you how much my heart races.
Jumps right out of my chest to yours.
If only you knew my thoughts.
For I only think of you.
And I'm addicted to them.
If only you knew my dreams.
Dreams of you and I.
Together is how we'd be perfect.
But you don't know.
I'm With YouEyes see right through me.
Only your stormy eyes.
Inside I see your pain.
But on the outside you mask is well.
That smile fools everyone.
For I wear that same smile.
We're alike in too many ways.
We were never supposed to be this close.
You were never supposed to mean this much.
Not to me anyways.
Just because it shouldn't happen,
Doesn't mean it won't.
And just because you need something,
Doesn't mean it won't fade away.
Everything is just a blur now.
I didn't believe you.
Didn't want to.
Not when you said you couldn't love me.
Now all you say is sorry.
But it doesn't matter now.
I was willing to change for you.
Change my ways.
Play the part just so you'd love me.
But I wasn't enough for you.
I never was.
Fingers run through sand.
No longer your sandy hair.
It still reminds me of you.
You escaped me.
I didn't let you go.
Why would I?
Your skin was rough.
But your lips so soft.
I thought that if I kissed like you,
Maybe I could keep you.
HauntThe emptiness in his voice echoed in my head like a scream in an empty cave.
My eyes scanned the thick white blankets that laid around me.
Lifting my head to the grey, moody sky coldness floated down falling upon my face.
My breath formed white puffs in the air disappearing into nothing.
I would normally smile at weather like this but there's no warmth to hold onto.
No one to smile with me.
Letting go isn't easy.
I know this.
But holding onto you was never easy either.
So what am I supposed to do when you just slipped away?
I love you...
But you haunt me gravely.
You Love Me NotPulling each petal away gently
Holding it between my fingers
Whispering as I watch it float down
Being that last petal, it falls alone
Alone and broken,
Just like me without you
The words I hear,
The only ones that makes sense now
He loves me not...
Falling victim to the wind
The petals now float around me
Twirling around in circles,
Trapping me in the memories
They're looking for a way back
Just like me
Back to the before
When the wind stops,
So does their journey
Leaving them on the ground once again
Speaking to me no more
I still remember that flower
The one you placed in my heart
It was ripped apart by my hands
Just like I was ripped apart by yours
I had to make something,
Anything understand my pain
That flower seemed to be the only choice
The only thing that would
Neither you nor I can contemplate this
For neither of us understand
I fall to my knees as everything fades
All I can see are the petals engulfing me
I lose myself in the gentle touch of you
What seems to be your
Let me goMusic take me away
Some other place, some other day
Help me find a way
For once to just be okay
Play the notes I need to hear
Bringing death oh so near
Don't even bother to shed a tear
I know you wont think of missing me dear
Sing me your song so soft and light
It brings me comfort as I die this night
Let me go do not fight
I'll disappear like in the sky a kite
I hope the music will take you away
Maybe back to the old days
Help you hold on and find a way
Than maybe you too will be okay
I'll play the notes you need to hear
But I'm playing them to keep death at bay and me near
Even though you have not I will cry tears
I miss you so very much dear
Singing you your song so dark yet light
Maybe it will bring you comfort as I leave you tonight
I have lost you, lost this fight
Please let me go; you cant hold on to a flying away kite
I Only WishHair soaked
It almost feels like I'm in the rain
But I'm curled up in my bed
You're the whole reason I'm like this
Or is it really my fault?
Eyes never dry
Body never stops shaking
Stop telling me lies
That you still love me
That you'll come back
We'll be together again
Because you know what?
That's just bullshit
I've hard those one too many times
And I'm not going to believe you
You broke my heart
Can you hear it shattering?
Oh wait...I forgot you can't
You no longer care to hear
My words fall upon deaf ears
As well as my screams
I tried to make you stay
But you just turned your back
Said we'd be better this way
You're like everyone else
Why did I trust you?
Let you in?
Why did I believe you were different?
My eyes burn along with my lungs
Holding on to the last jagged piece
The last piece I have of you
It cuts deep into my skin
But I only hold it tighter
Letting the blood trickle down
Falling into the puddle of what I used to
Not HereI miss you
Miss your smile
I miss your hugs
Sorry I let you down
Sorry you left
Oother people miss you, not just me
Unbearable is the pain without you here
But what can I do?
Unless you come back,
There's nothing I can do
I feel so useless...
Life isn't the same without you
Of course nothing's the same
Vain was my efforts to save you
Every single effort wasted
You're still in my memory
One too many time has my heart been shattered
Usless I will stay as long as you're not here
Do I need a reason?Do I need a reason to feel this way?
Do I need a reason to runaway?
From the battles going on in my head
Outside I wait for the pouring rain
But never does it come
Just like my salvation
Countless are the days I've waited
Just like the scars left by mutilation
Do I need a reason not to be able to cry?
Do I need a reason to want to die?
Life is painful, life is useless
I'm sick of the game, sick of the lie
The lies everyone tries to sell me
The truth only to be discovered beneath
That I am a bother, a failure
Me you do not need
So do I need a reason?
Do I need to explain?
Life is painful game
More I do not need to say
MusicWhen the voices stop, and the lyrics go sour,
It starts to rain when the hand reaches the hour,
Silence ensues, blanketing the melodies,
We create our own world from our insecurities.
And then upon a miracle the button is pressed,
And the cords become undressed,
As an angelic voice sooths the soul,
The silence, has now become whole.
sometimes i dream about...sometimes i dream about your hair in my sink,
the smell of citrus you bring, and your shirt on my floor.
sometimes i think about the spaces between your fingers and
the lines in your lips-
the way you laugh tickles my heart because then
your eyes sparkle like crystals in the sun.
sometimes you remind me of cherry blossom carpets and
the fresh rainforest smell.
you are more than what i deserve.
that pink stain you left on my pillow, those
harp-string lullabies you sang into my eyes-
they are reminders of how much you meant to me.
sometimes i wish for the melancholy of your eyes,
when i dream of past summers. my memories play on repeat:
thoughts of you, thoughts of you, thoughts of you.
time had stopped, right at the moment your eyes met mine,
and on the occasions i'm not crying into tea cups,
the world is the memory of your eyes and they way they smiled,
even when i didn't, like the last ray of light before the sun sets.
but your gaze will never fail to remind me
that i will always be a
When We Were YoungIt's funny how simple minded we were
For all those years.
Those innocent days of play and no work to be done
ooo when we were young.
The playground's swing creaks and sways in the wind
Abandoned, a symbol of the old days.
When we ruled the school and now there are none
Oooo when we were young.
The school bell rings
But the kids have yet to be seen.
Since they all ran away to the land our parents made up
And when we knew the end had begun,
Oooo when we were young.
Ourselves we would bring
In our empty town we will sing.
And we ruled the land far and wide
When ruling our loving kingdom was just for fun,
Oooo when we were young.
Those were the days and now they are gone
Since others have sinned and wronged.
Left the world to wither away and disapear into the sun,
Oooo when we were young...
007. Heavenplace your hands on the earth and spin it around.
do it, and watch the world spin round in your hands.
isn't it so haunting, that you're just
a little speck on this great glass globe?
and the music is playing in your mind, disco ball and all.
i can see the light flashing behind your eyes,
and as long as you don't get a migraine, i'm okay with
whatever goes on inside your head.
if i write you a love song,
will you remember me?
i promise to make it pretty, and i won't add any hurt
for you to read.
you write your initials on the glass, the way you
smear your fingertips on my heart.
i'm asking you to come, but
then the rainy day begins and
you're never at my side.
and the girl in the purple shirt dancing at the playground
is someone i used to know,
but she's too wild and light and free for me
to recall her name.
(i want to be her.)
and the bird sitting next to my shoe refuses to fly away
no matter how many times i nudge it with my foot.
(it reminds me of me.)
maybe it's dead.
her name was anne xietynor alive.
she was neither dead
and her heart was left with the
because her eyes belonged to a crying bird,
always half blinded by tears
losing myself.i refuse to lower my standards because "that's what makes people like you".
i refuse to gulp down that burning liquid because "it makes you feel so confident and fuzzy".
i refuse to choke down those pretty white pills because "they make the bad things go away".
i refuse to blacken my lungs with cancer sticks because "it shows the world you don't give a fuck".
i refuse to give up my innocence because "no one is a virgin these days".
i refuse to give my heart away to some immature little boy with dirty hands because "he makes me feel so loved and special".
i refuse to be another high school cliché because "everybody else is doing it".
trying to be someone i'm not has been
the stupidest mistake
i have ever made.
from this day forward,
i will honor myself,
body and soul.
i will always try to be myself.
even if i have no idea
who that is yet.
counting latin,your arms are constellations.
connecting finger tips to small spots of
dust to skin. its a winter of wax carpets
and always-teeming patrons of wallpaper
stained heirlooms. and also. your left
elbow is an assemblage of concrete door
hinges. tracing peak to peak. drift through
drift. and this is all about the,
static in the trance of like skin.