All A Dream

You broke me...
Broke me like you always promised you wouldn't
You said you would always be mine...
What happened to that?
I trusted you
I love you...
You no longer have my trust
Though I'm sad to say...
You'll always have my heart
A piece of it anyways

Now he wants to know why I wont trust him
Why I wont believe him when he says he wont leave
Do you want to know why I cant trust him?
Because you said the same fucking thing!
You said you would NEVER leave!
Look at you now!
You're gone without even saying good-bye...
You don't know how much that kills me

He wants to know why I'm afraid to believe he loves me...
Why I'm afraid to let him in...
You want to know why?
Because you said the same fucking thing!
You never loved me...
Not for one second...
You don't love me anymore so you never did
Get this through your head asshole...
There's no past tense to love
Once you love someone, you always will
That's why I'm always going to love you

I wish it wasn't so hard to talk to you...
Wasn't so hard to talk about you...
I know you love her now...and she loves you too
I want to be happy for her...she's my friend...
But for some reason no matter how hard I try...
I just cant be happy for her
It's not that I'm jealous...I'm afraid
If you could do that to me...
How do I know you wont do that to her?
I don't trust you...not anymore
But for some reason she does...
I just hope she made a better choice than I did
I cant stand to see her heart...it breaks me heart

I think you're wearing a mask though
That all the sweetness...
All the kind words and heart felt things
Those are just all lies you say to draw people in
Then once you have them in your grasp...
Once they've let you inside...
You tear them apart bit by bit...
Piece by piece...
Maybe I'm seeing things through tainted eyes
I just don't want to see her get hurt...
Not like me...not by you...
I swear to God...
If you hurt her AT ALL you are dead
I will kill you with my own hands...
Make your life a living hell
Just like you made mine one

She wants to know why it hurts so much
I wonder if she would like to be called a fake and a liar
From a so called friend too
But I wont call you that anymore...you doesn't deserve that title
Not after what you did to me
I think I finally know why it hurts so much...
You remind me of the one I love...
The one I lost so very fast...
You're exactly like him...yes you are...
Maybe that's why I fell for you so hard

I see those tears in her eyes
She wants to end my pain...
But than she'd have to end her happiness
This is why I want to go
Why I need to go...
I'm not helping her...
Only causing her pain she doesn't need
I want to see her smile
She says you're going if I even think about leaving
So I'll keep my mouth shut
I don't want to ruin her happiness
I don't want you to hate me more than you already do
Don't even say that you could never hate me...we all know that a lie

I'm just so hurt...
I feel so alone...
The voice wont stop screaming at me
I'm about to give in
I cant take it, I need to feel the release
The only way I feel free is when that knife comes to my skin
So I'll the knife come back to it's dance floor
I'll watch it as it dances beautifully on my skin
Let one last smile crawl upon my lips
And with my last breathe...
I'll tell you that I still love you
I'll tell her that I'm sorry...that I'm gone
I'll tell him he deserves better...though I'll love him forever
And I'll tell myself that this is just all a dream